Let me start with something really positive and uplifting. It is the 5th of May today and our beloved Gul Dukat turns 76. He was infiltrated on Earth as a spy many years ago and his human alias is Marc Alaimo. In fact, by playing the part of…Gul Dukat (yes, he played himself, tell me about pluck!) in a cheesy Terran space opera, he prepared the Earth for a full-scale Cardassian invasion. This is how it works – whoever controls the pop culture controls the Earth so we are currently circulating the urban legend about the reptilian overlords so that the stupid humans get accustomed to fearing and obeying their Cardassian masters.
Don’t worry about the security, all messages are scrambled, filled with static interference and disguised as spam. It looks as though you have received just another pesky Ferengi advertisement for a washing detergent or a free holosuite night because your channel number has won some weird raffle you have never applied for. But if you need a quick extraction or something goes wrong, you can always PM me.
Oh, this is nothing but a middle-age crisis, Mr. Garak is about 80-85 years old (having in mind that Tain never issued a proper birth certificate for him, we can’t be sure). This is the sad realization when we realize that the better half of our life is over and from now on, we are just approaching our nadir. We try to brush it away with bragging, with posh displays of power and cynical wisdom, with young mistresses and expensive gadgets, but deep down inside we feel awfully scared and alone, as though life is slipping through our fingers and we can’t slow its pace anymore.
We try to convince ourselves that the older we get, the more feared and respected we will be, that the shri-tal we will leave to our children will be a long list of defeated enemies and empowering secrets. Still, in the end we simply can’t help the temptation of youth – its arrogance, its lack of historicity, its here and now, its disarming brusqueness.
So play it hard to get, you are getting over a great anguish, you are still not ready to start a new relationship, you have to confront your own personal demons. You don’t get into relationships easily, you are not that kind of woman. However, Mr. Garak is a predator, the longer he has to hunt, the more cherished the game. Yeah, arguing will just make him intensify his advances, so be somehow detached, and make sure he talks.
By the way, could you describe your typical day as a clerk, your access level, the parts of the government building you have visited, where the main comm relays are situated, where the archives are kept? Then I will brief you on your next mission.
A Simple Tailor?
- Shada Dukal
- Sheer Evil
- Posts: 512
- Joined: Fri May 22, 2015 9:58 am
Re: A Simple Tailor?
I am the Lizard King, I can do anything!
Jim Morrison
Jim Morrison
Re: A Simple Tailor?
Hehey! I did not know that. I'll drink for Dukat's health!
Trying to seduce Garak, eh? For some reason, while I acknowledge female Cardassians are the best, I think there is little chances of that working out. Hmmm...
Trying to seduce Garak, eh? For some reason, while I acknowledge female Cardassians are the best, I think there is little chances of that working out. Hmmm...
- Seerbah Pe’Rez
- Posts: 24
- Joined: Sun Mar 25, 2018 4:58 pm
Re: A Simple Tailor?
Did I happen to mention that I am probably the only female cardassian ever to seduce him and if he loves me then maybe I can convert him. It’s hard to say whether I love him as well but there’s something else: I missed my last two “shedding” cycles and could be pregnant. What do I do Guls!?
Ask a simple question, get a complicated answer.
- Seerbah Pe’Rez
- Posts: 24
- Joined: Sun Mar 25, 2018 4:58 pm
Re: A Simple Tailor?
My access levels are pretty high but not to the point where I can see his personal files as of yet. My clerical work in the past was smalltime compared to this.
Ask a simple question, get a complicated answer.
- Seerbah Pe’Rez
- Posts: 24
- Joined: Sun Mar 25, 2018 4:58 pm
Re: A Simple Tailor?
Come relays and archives are stupidly located in the same area together right underneath my office! If you’d like for me to get some information there I gladly will
Ask a simple question, get a complicated answer.
- Shada Dukal
- Sheer Evil
- Posts: 512
- Joined: Fri May 22, 2015 9:58 am
Re: A Simple Tailor?
Yes, it is hard to believe that Mr. Garak can do it with a female but considering that Dr. Bashir is comatose in hospital, he must have swung the other way. Congratulations! Let’s hope that Mr. Garak’s prodigy would be as brilliant as his/her father and as loyal as his/her mother because the opposite would be devastating for Cardassia.
Well, I guess, you should tell Mr.Garak the good news and we will hope that he would be shocked and thrilled to the point of becoming absentminded.
Oh, I see, you can’t slice into his personal files but you have access to the archive – that is great. Well, can you get some transcripts from informal meetings between Alon Ghemor, Garak and Federation representatives – I just wonder what “peace for our time” those two have scribbled for Cardassia and at what price. Which part of our identity, history, or national interests are we supposed to denounce this time?
Well, I guess, you should tell Mr.Garak the good news and we will hope that he would be shocked and thrilled to the point of becoming absentminded.
Oh, I see, you can’t slice into his personal files but you have access to the archive – that is great. Well, can you get some transcripts from informal meetings between Alon Ghemor, Garak and Federation representatives – I just wonder what “peace for our time” those two have scribbled for Cardassia and at what price. Which part of our identity, history, or national interests are we supposed to denounce this time?
I am the Lizard King, I can do anything!
Jim Morrison
Jim Morrison
- Seerbah Pe’Rez
- Posts: 24
- Joined: Sun Mar 25, 2018 4:58 pm
Re: A Simple Tailor?
Fellow cardassians!
I apologize for being absent for so long! I have had surgery on earth and I believe they took out my appendix and thyroid! Needless to say my neck has scars and our dear friend MR Garak has left me for his doctor friend once again. He has recovered from whatever ailment has befallen him. I guess my neck ridges aren’t attractive anymore and my huge belly with his child
I apologize for being absent for so long! I have had surgery on earth and I believe they took out my appendix and thyroid! Needless to say my neck has scars and our dear friend MR Garak has left me for his doctor friend once again. He has recovered from whatever ailment has befallen him. I guess my neck ridges aren’t attractive anymore and my huge belly with his child
Ask a simple question, get a complicated answer.
- Shada Dukal
- Sheer Evil
- Posts: 512
- Joined: Fri May 22, 2015 9:58 am
Re: A Simple Tailor?
Well, I am glad to hear that you are in one piece (minus a thyroid and an appendix). Earth doctors are primitive so this is to be expected. As for Mr. Garak, his amorous preferences are hardly predicable so his doctor with a boyish smile won’t last long, that is for sure. Maternity is a highly desirable state on Cardassia so congratulation on bearing the future of Cardassia. Cardassian medicine and cosmetics are pretty advanced so an ounce of bio-mimetic gel and your ridges will be as good as new.
I am the Lizard King, I can do anything!
Jim Morrison
Jim Morrison
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