The Storm Troopers of the Future

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Shada Dukal
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The Storm Troopers of the Future

Postby Shada Dukal » Thu Mar 03, 2016 9:09 pm

I have recently wondered whether it is possible to watch and analyze Star Trek without its shitty public image. I mean without the hordes of wackoes wearing replicas of Starfleet uniforms and converting their toilets into transporters, without the army of do-gooders and utopians who took Roddenberry’s seminars in 1970’s at hearth and fly at the throat of everyone who threatens to ruin their utopia.

For me, the Star Trek fandom is a social behavior project, I have always loved analyzing small closed informal communities, they can tell you tons about human behavior. This is the only show in the world whose hard-core fans firmly believe that they singlehandedly make the world a better place by simply watching TV. This is not the inoffensive geekiness typical of all fandoms, an excessive case of escapism, the in-character lunatics from the RPG forums, or the cosplay jokes at the cons. No, these people believe in the utopia, it is a sort of religious conviction for them and it has nothing to do with the suspension of disbelief that all fictional works require. What exactly do they believe in? Here is an extract from the Big Bang Theory, series 4, episode 10.

Sheldon: … You know, in difficult moments like this, I often turn to a force greater than myself.
Amy: Religion?
Sheldon: Star Trek. Did you see Star Trek: The Motion Picture?
Amy: No.
Sheldon: Don’t. It’s terrible. However, in it, we learn that when Spock finds himself drawn off the path of logic by feelings bubbling up from his human half, he suppresses them using the Vulcan mental discipline of Kolinar.
Amy: Are you suggesting we live our lives guided by the philosophies found in cheap science fiction?
Sheldon: Cheap science fiction?

Pay attention to the difference in perception – for normal people it is just a science fiction show but for the nerd it is a religion. Indeed, Roddenberry abolished organized religion only to replace it with a quasi-religious experience.

What is the Star Trek doctrine in the first place? Star Trek is a fairy tale based on the quest trope, using the monomyth (hero’s journey) as a plot device. It is centered around the Federation, a utopian society gorging on freedom, individual rights, and opulence, guarded by a benevolent military organization called Starfleet.

The protagonists are pacifists in military uniforms who claim non-interference but somehow poke their noses into everything. These nice humanitarians are on exploration missions but happen to have ships brimming with proton torpedoes, just in case someone misinterprets their peaceful intentions and does not bug out of their way. Fortunately, the universe never runs short of aliens who don’t get the hint and after a long and philosophical deliberation, our heroes take the gloves off and here is where the fun starts. (Any resemblance to RL countries is purely coincidental and any allusions will be persecuted by Section 31 and the CIA.)

Just like every religion, it has its canonicity, theological splits, gospels, saints, and martyrs but unlike any other fandom, it harbors a strikingly large proportion of zealots and fundamentalists. I have never seen such a pronounced delusion of grandeur in other fandoms so it must be an endemic malady in the Star Trek fandom only.

It is a heaven for nerds with a moral message, people who adopt the fictional utopian morality typical of the characters in the show to voice their everyday frustrations. They view themselves as rectifiers of injustices, real or fictional, it really does not matter, an angelic cohort fighting for a better world. They will give an angry jeremiad to anyone whose opinion they don’t like. They lack the emotional maturity and/or the intellectual capacity to hear a differing stance without taking it as a personal insult. Reality and otherness terrify them because they threaten their comfort zone.

No, this is not the proverbial Trekkie that does not have a life, the moral storm troopers have a life, the problem is that it is not much of a life. They are very ordinary people who lack any particular talents but think that there must be some underlying social cause accounting for their personal failures.

This is the Ugly Betty, an underpaid secretary or a civil servant, who blames the male-structured society for all her mishaps and personal limitations. The unnoticeable creature next to the photocopier that overhears her colleges’ jokes and files a lawsuit for micro-aggression.

This is the pseudo-intellectual who launches a boycott campaign against a university professor because the said scholar failed to pay tribute to some storm in a teacup or dropped an UNPC term in their lectures.

This is the bleeding heart that routinely whines over personal melodramas in talk shows and claims that they are relevant social issues.

This is the random animal lover who saves stray dogs, whales, lab rats, and cattle, in one fell swoop, but truly hates their neighbors’ little brats.

This is the social recluse who lives with cats, enjoys knitting, gardening, and watching TV, but can’t deal with people because people are too much of an effort, besides the cats and the TV set never argue with them.

This is the obese First-Worlder who sympathizes with the hungry children in Somalia but can’t find Somalia on a map and has not lived even a day in an underprivileged country.

This is the congenital loser, Homer Simpson, who happily passes on his bad genes to the next generation, and wonders which conspiracy theory prevents him from being successful.

Star Trek gives such people what no one has given them before – a mission and an identity. Star Trek promises them that by the 24th century everyone will be clever, cultured, good-looking, and gelded. It promises them an omelet without breaking eggs, a way to keep their hands and conscience clean, gain without pain. Star Trek provides them with a psychological projection so that they can shift the blame for their own shortcomings and ascribe them to the imperfections in the RL world.

They view equality as some magic replicator that is supposed to squirt out everyone the desired dose of welfare and justice but they don’t have to bust their ass for that, they are entitled to it. Free plastic happiness, just like that. Well, there must be some glitch in the system because the replicator scoops out more equality to some people than to others.

No, they are not innocent visionaries or misguided humanitarians – they are fundamentalists with a messianic glitter in the eyes and must be treated as such. They don’t want to wait until the 24th century, they want their utopia here and now. These people won’t think twice if they have to kill in order to protect their nirvana. Such people are a benign melanoma. They remind me of the Krikkit people.

"They believe in 'peace, justice, morality, culture, sport, family life, and the obliteration of all other life forms'.” “Life, Universe and Everything” by Douglas Adams.

I have bad news for you, storm troopers, even in the 24th century you will be no one, just a bunch of parasites regurgitating ambrosia from the replicators, someone else will fly the ships, someone else will make the decisions, someone else will be the hero. Mediocrity is timeless.

I think Star Trek deserves a better fanbase, the freak show associated with it must go where it belongs – to the past. It is an influential sci-fi achivement and should be respected but it carries too much old baggage. It has been a bumpy ride, it has had its ups and downs, a lot of things happened for 50 years. I bet there are plenty of normal people who like it but they are afraid of expressing their opinion because the storm troopers are extremely vociferous.
I am the Lizard King, I can do anything!
Jim Morrison

Gul Khold
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Re: The Storm Troopers of the Future

Postby Gul Khold » Fri Mar 04, 2016 9:05 pm

Short and sweet. I loved it.


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